


That's when I met Tim, behind the bar at a restaurant across the street from my building in Brooklyn. My one-night stand was more than one night long Though there was an undeniable thrill in throwing away my internal GPS, it brought me no closer to any recognizable destination. The success of that adventure emboldened me to try other scary new things: tasting the most non-kosher foods I could think of: oysters (loved), and lobster (hated), speaking in front of a large audience at a big conference, and volunteering with political refugees on the Thai-Burma border. "You know I planned my trip there for nine months, right?" my globetrotting brother said skeptically. I packed a bag and jumped on a plane to Machu Picchu on three days' notice. So, after my divorce, I decided to stop planning altogether. What else had I been wrong about? Suddenly all my planning started to feel like a cruel joke. Alone with a toddler, a mortgage, and a feeling that I no longer knew myself, I wondered if I had been so wrong about such an important decision. What I didn't anticipate was that my marriage would make me feel so bitterly lonely that six years in, I couldn't stand it anymore. When it came to a potential mate, I made an inventory of qualities I wanted and then went out and found the man who had them. I even kept lists of my lists and never, ever forgot a birthday. It often indicates a user profile.īefore my divorce, I thought I had a very clear idea of who I was: a list keeper, a fulfiller of obligations, someone who always had extra toilet paper on hand and kept spare gifts in the closet just in case. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders.
